Within two days of receiving all of our paperwork and our “dear birthmother letter” (this is a letter that adoptive parents write to the birth mother that details their relationship, their parenting style, their family details, and includes pictures… think mini scrapbook), the advocate had found a couple of potential situations that she wanted to send our information to. We were looking specifically for a 1/2 White 1/2 Hispanic child as I am ½ Hispanic ½ White and Bill is white. And within two weeks, we had been matched with Cole's Birth mother who was 7 months pregnant at that time.. the good thing about her being late in her pregnancy was that we didn't have to deal with the early costs of living that some of our friends who got selected by a birthmother at 3 months... that is very expensive and due to our first adoption experience … money was limited . The negative is that we were unable to be involved with the doctor visits or to spend as much time with our birthmother in developing our relationship. But… we were able to talk with Cole’s birth mother over the phone many times. She and I were able to develop a rapport and to become friends without physically meeting. (I will post more about my Birth Mother experiences at a later time).
But I do want to take a moment and say that both of my Birth Mothers are strong women who made a difficult choice for the benefit of their babies. I find it extremely offensive whenever someone belittles these women and the tough difficult decision that they made. They blessed me with two wonderful sons and they should be honored for realizing that their children were better in a loving God fearing home with two parents that love their sons. So please people stop “bashing” birth mothers… most adoptive mothers are being too polite to tell you that you are “bashing” someone that they owe their daily happiness and joy to. Okay enough of that … time to get off my soap box. I promise in next week’s post no lectures or soap boxes.