Our second experience was a different experience all together…this time, God was in control.
We had learned a lot about researching the reputation of those we got involved with by this time (this was about six months later). And I had made several internet friends who were going through or had just gone through the same adoption process, so I was able to get more than references provided by the organization in question…I was able to get first-hand knowledge from people that I trusted.
But the main thing that made this experience so different was that I had finally reached the point in my walk with God and in my internal struggles to say “Thy Will be done in all things related to our being parents… and in all areas of my life, I give control to you, Lord.” The peace that comes after turning your adoption over to the Lord is wonderful.
After much prayer, we decided this time to work with an adoption advocate that several friends had worked with and highly recommend. The difference between a facilitator and an advocate is that the facilitator represents only the birth mother... it is their job to help the birthmother find the right parents for the child and then to work with both the prospective adoptive couple and the birthmother to insure that the process runs smoothly. The adoption advocate's job is to match her clients (the adoptive parents) with prospective birth mother situations... these situations may be with private attorneys or with adoption agencies or with adoption facilitators.