After intensive prayer for almost two months, we felt that God wanted us to begin the adoption process. We should have started it several years earlier yet we could not afford financially to do both adoption and fertility as they are BOTH very expensive. None of the fertility treatment from the basic drugs to the IVF treatments are covered by insurance so all of it is self-financed. And as I still was trying to live out the “game plan” that we had talked about while engaged… first two children biologically then the next two by adoption. We did fertility first… also as a woman, my biological clock had a limited age span… what we did not know was that so did the adoption process.
All life situations seem to have "bitter" pills that just have to be swallowed and survived. For me, one of the bitter pills or harsh realities about being infertile was not just being unable to get pregnant and to bear children but that we had to choose between the two different avenues towards becoming parents due to money constraints. It would have been nicer and quicker if we had been able to do both paths in tangent. But each stage of fertility is self funded and each stage of adoption is self funded. At least in our case, some people are blessed enough to work for companies that support adoption and help with the funding. And some companies also have more generous insurance plans than ours had and support more of the fertility basic treatments. In our case, we had neither ... so for almost eighteen years we were attempting to pay for a major life expense without increase our credit debt.
And then we jumped off the fertility roller coaster and jumped on the crazy chaotic costly adoption train. But this time, we were on the right path (the one that God wanted us on).