Over the past several Sunday's, I have been discussing our journey to Parenthood...if you are new to this post series...you can read the previous posts below if you would like to get current
- Parenthood -- a Roller Coaster Ride
- The Fertility Roller Coaster Ride
- The Fertility Roller Coaster Ride -- New Park, Same Ride
- Artificial Insemination -- the First Advanced Fertility Treatment
Onto the next leg of our journey...
The Artificial Insemination roller coaster lasted for about three years before we felt that we needed to move to the last level of fertility treatment… IVF (invitro fertilization). The last stage of fertility treatment is the hardest physically, mentally, and financially.
And the additional pressure put on a couple by “well meaning” people during this time is extreme….I had people compare our IVF treatments to abortions… a comparison that I still fail to understand. I also had well meaning friends and family members continue to ask... are you pregnant yet? or my favorite... how much longer can you continue to afford to do this either financially or physically? Like anyone going through IVF needs to be reminded of their continued failure to become parents or that they are basically financially and physically bankrupting themselves.... I have never understood how people can comment on such a personal issue with such lack of empathy. But then again, I have been known to open mouth and insert foot.
The drugs that are taken to prepare you for IVF have to be self injected daily and can be quite painful at times. In my case, I developed a sensitivity around each injection point and by then end of each treatment had a red rash with extreme sensitivity on my front from just below my hips to right above my waist. Along with the additional weight gain, job stress, fertility stresses, and financial stress; this treatment also added a physical stress that was exhausting. It was during this treatment that I ballooned to my highest weight of over 300 lbs. We did have some successes with the treatment in that we did get pregnant twice along with two official miscarriages – one at six weeks and one at eight weeks. We also had four rounds of IVF with no results. Overall we did six rounds of IVF over a period of three years. It was after our first miscarriage that I finally learned a valuable lesson about not announcing "good tidings of pregnancy" until after the first trimester was over with. If the Lord ever blessed me with another pregnancy, I would wait until then to tell family and friends.
Even after going through all of the ups and downs of fertility treatment, I still had not turned this over to the Lord. Bill was at peace as he had done it at the very beginning…years before. I was still trying to control and organize everything with no results except getting more stressed and not able to lose weight… there is nothing harder for an A personality type to do than “Let go and let God have control.” We suffered our last IVF disappointment in the beginning of November of 2006. After praying, we decided that it was time to stop this rollercoaster and to get off. We were going to instead turn this over to God. And I finally gave the fertility treatment over to the Lord… (yes… I turned over the fertility treatment… I did not turn over the adoption process as you will soon see).