Over the past several Sunday's, I have been discussing our journey to Parenthood...if you are new to this post series...you can read the previous posts below if you would like to get current
- Parenthood -- a Roller Coaster Ride
- The Fertility Roller Coaster Ride
- The Fertility Roller Coaster Ride -- New Park, Same Ride
Onto the next leg of our journey...
After another year on the basic drug regimes we started rounds of artificial insemination. Have you noticed a trend... in that with my stubborn self, I always try for a year before I am willing to give up... I never realized how stubborn I was until I started this post series. That was a little side bar... onto the reason for the post. An AI is where the doctors inseminate the woman with her spouse’s sperm. Needless to say this was not a comfortable experience for either Bill or I. At that time, I used to joke that I was like a used car that was constantly being put on the “blocks” and looked under the “hood” as I had to go to the doctor's so many times for sonograms prior to the treatment and then sonograms after the treatment. I also lost all ability to be "uncomfortable" at the obgyn... I used to be very shy about my annual checkup... but after becoming like a "used car" you can't retain your shyness.
And after every treatment... I would get my hopes up and pray so hard to God about making this treatment successful. I never prayed as to whether or not we should be doing the treatments. Or as to whether or not God wanted the treatments to be successful. These prayers were very short sited and self centered... the classic signs of the prayer life of an immature Christian. I should have been praying all along for the Lord to be in control and for His guidance on our path. Not for His retro-active blessings on MY decisions. Needless to say, the first month after a treatment when my cycle started... depression hit and eating to feel good about myself increased. This was when I ballooned to my largest size of 28 and 300 lbs.
Through all of this, Bill was patiently supporting me. Holding my hand and praying, each time we went through the treatments. And holding my hands and praying, as I cried when my cycle started. This was a strengthening time for our marriage... it was one of the fires that we went through that has made our marriage stronger. So many couples lose faith in their marriages or lose faith in each other and thus lose their marriages when they go through advanced fertility treatment. If you or someone you know is going through advanced fertility treatments, please pray for their marriage not just for the success of the treatment. As their marriage is under considerable stress and strain thus in a dangerous situation. Did I happen to mention how blessed I am to have a man like Bill for my husband?
As by this time, the cost of the fertility treatment was excessive and none of it was covered by insurance … we did a round of artificial insemination every three months (instead of the recommended every month) as we had to save up to pay for the process because both Bill and I felt very strongly about limiting our debt and that we were not to pay for this treatment by increasing our debt. As you can tell that even though I had not turned over control to God on this issue... He was still watching over us. The decision to not go into debt at that time and to instead pay cash for our AI treatments is one of the primary factors in our financial ability for me to be a Stay-at-Home now.
This roller coaster lasted for about three years before we felt that we needed to move to the last level of fertility treatment…Next week the last level of advanced fertility treatment (aka... the lengths that Samantha will go to in order to retain control).