After much prayer by Bill and worry by me, we decided to attempt to do a domestic adoption as the situation was supposed to be three to four years before we would have a child selected for us (this is called a referral) and another year to two years before we were coming home with our toddler…if we had stayed on the path we were on. However, we found out that due to Bill’s age (he was just about to turn 43) a lot of domestic adoption agencies would not work with us on a domestic newborn adoption. And the ones that would work with us told us that because of our ages, Bill at 43 and I at 41, that most birth mothers would not select us so we were looking at another three to four year time frame if we were lucky.
The agencies we talked with usually had young birthmothers with no drug or alcohol issues (ie… the ideal birthmother). ((I need to write a post on the “ideal” birthmother as it is a myth)) Several agencies recommended that we do a domestic private adoption due to our ages. A domestic private adoption is one where an agency is not involved. It is usually between two attorneys with either a adoption facilitator (who works for both the birth mother and the adoptive parents but primarily focuses on the birth mother’s needs) or an adoption advocate (who works for the adoptive parents and represents them only) helping to put the parties to the adoption together. So after much prayer we turned toward a domestic private adoption. Yes… this time I prayed for God’s direction not for success and He was faithful in showing us which path He wanted us to take.
Bill and I have had 3 experiences with domestic private adoptions. I thought it might be helpful if I told you about each.... next week “Our First Domestic Adoption Experience”