As you go through the infertility rollercoaster and then the adoption crazy train, sometimes you begin to feel like this is all about you as a childless couple desperately wanting to become parents. But Adoption is really a family affair. It impacts not just the prospective parents and the child to be adopted. The immediate family of Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins are all impacted and affected by the adoption experience.
We have been blessed with a family that is not only open and receptive to the adoption experience but because we went to such lengths to have children… care for our sons as the blessings from God that they are. One of the needless worries that I had as a prospective adoptive mom was that our family would not be accepting of our adoptive child like they would be to a biological one. This was one worry that I should have never considered as the reality is that my sons are adored by their older cousins, doted on by their Aunts and Uncles, and the apple of the eye of their Grandparents.
We were blessed in our first adoption by our family as we did not have time to set up the nursery before we left for California. When we came home… we had a wonderful surprise…Bill’s two sisters had painted our nursery with clouds over the ceiling and half way down the wall… and the pale green below that just like I had dreamed about. And the rest of the family had set up the nursery furniture and even bought the pieces we didn’t have. And another family member had bought all the linens and clothing that we would need for the first six months. He had a bigger wardrobe of clothes than his mom. No baby could have had a more loving and warm welcome home.
In our second adoption, we were blessed as part of our family was able to go to Kansas with us. Bill’s parents drove their RV to Kansas and spent two weeks in an RV park taking care of Cole and keeping him entertained while Bill and I focused on Will in the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit). And as I stayed in the hospital at night with Will… I had one less worry as I knew that both Bill and Cole were being taken care of by my Mother-in-law. I cannot even begin to tell you what a blessing it is to not have to worry about your child when you are in the hospital with their sibling.
Adoption is a family affair… not just in that it creates a family but in that it impacts the entire family. So if you are going through adoption, don’t forget that yes it is about you but it is also about the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, and the cousins as they have been eagerly waiting to meet their new family member.